fate

Although i don't want to admit this fact~
This kind of fate keeps on happening to me~
I'm very tired of thinking, guessing, looking, searching...
Maybe I should wait~
Or god wants me to learn from it~
But..
It already follows me for so many years~
Why couldn't miracles happen to me?
I'm wondering, pondering, praying, waiting everyday~
Confused~
Maybe I should stop waiting~
All I have to do is to give up totally~
But..
I will be like a human without a soul~
Nobody will take note of my emptiness~
I'm a living corpse~@.#